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Project L What I Think

19: The secret to making a second hit is not repeating the first

With the exceptions of ‘The Empire Strikes Back‘ and ‘The Godfather: Part 2‘ follow-ups, sequels and second acts are rarely as good and even more rarely better than their original. Both these films had the same creative forces driving the project and many if not all of the acting talent from the original (even Sir Alex Guinness returned for his ghost scenes in Empire). Occasionally the thrid movie can return the franchise to the limelight as with ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’ and ‘Oceans 13’ but abso-fucking-lutely not as with ‘The Hangover 3’; they would have retained more dignity by just asking for donations as people walked out of ‘The Hangover 2’.

Look at the ever increasing train wrecks of one-hit-wonders the music industry forces upon us on what seems like a daily basis.

Originality is a wonderful thing. Its enemy is risk. And it appears to me that the world is becoming a more risk-averse place moment by moment. The chances of getting an original creative production green-lit are getting slimmer all the time. Big production companies invest heavily in sentimentality by rehashing childhood concepts so we get 6 more episodes of Star Wars then we needed, another reboot of Star Trek and for some fucking unknown reason two versions of Footloose with rumours of another spin of the wheel in 2020. FFS!

Years I ago I was told that Sony Films make 20 movies a year knowing only 10 will make money, but they don’t know which 10. With an investment strategy like that, it is plain to see why they have to be very wary of originality and why we get Footloose Part Fucking 2. I hope the towns folk win this time.

It can be even worse in product development. Every year car companies show their wares at car shows around the world. The most technological advanced, aeronautically designed, fucking awesome machines that make you not care about where petrol comes from, how much it costs and what the environment is all about anyways. Then, after all the excitement we get the same old boring shit year after year. And to illustrate my earlier point about sentimentalism, Chrysler gave us the PT Cruiser and now Ford us delivered the latest iteration of the 1960’s mass market Mustang which it appears has become the new bogun-mobile. Apparently, ownership requires sagging testicles, baldness, zero taste and being OK with spending more than an equivalent Mercedes-Benz with far better build quality. And still, Ford almost went bust a couple of years back.

When I look at great creatives there is very little if any repetition in their work. Sure, they have developed their own style which they then overlay on top of original concepts. For example, JJ Abrams has a penchant for lens flare which he uses liberally in his films and TV shows. The stories are vastly different (with perhaps the exception of the Star Wars v Star Trek crossover). Annie Leibovitz’s photographic style will go down in history as singularly unique yet no two portraits resemble each other. Brett Whiteley always painted the female form from a particularly unflattering angle. No two works are the same.

I have struggled with originality since first stepping into an advertising agency. There’s an unwritten adland rule that says, ‘any ad is original if the idea first appeared 10 years ago or 10,000 kilometres away’. I saw that rule deployed many times. I saw creatives pitch ideas using the original concept in a foreign award annual as the rationale for selling the idea! I’ve also seen a guy fired for doing that so all’s fair in love and advertising. I shared office space for a long time with a painter (not of houses) who only painted from photos. And not his photos. After winning a rather prestigious art award with one of his painting (with some serious cash and kudos as the prize) the well-known judge enquired as to whether the painting had been created from life or photo. When he replied from a photo she said, ‘if I had known that you would not have won.’

Originality matters.

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20: Being first is most important when saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’

I like it when people say ‘thank you’ to me. And if someone feels they need to apologise hearing ‘sorry’ becomes the starting point to forgiveness or at least not developing resistance.

In reality, I’m mostly the one saying ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’, especially to Mrs Russell.

Little words that convey enormous sentiment. However, I’ve found they must be used authentically and sincerely to be of any value. Used otherwise and one risks being considered disingenuous.

 

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21: Feelings are not real

Let’s all share our feelings. How about let’s fucking not.

‘I feel’ could possibly be the biggest hindrance to mankind’s evolution since Albert told Robert how to split the atom.

Feelings sit in your head and create absolutely fucking nothing of benefit. They will, however, prevent you from living your life.

Hey, but Craig, I feel happy. No, you fucking don’t. You ARE happy. Or you ARE sick. Or you ARE in pain. I can tell because you have an icepick in your head.

But Big Dog, I feel sad. Boo-fucking-hoo.  All people, some time, will be sad. Step one, get some perspective. Sad because you haven’t got the latest iPhone or sad because it’s the 16th-anniversary of your mother’s death*? Step two, pick up the phone, call a friend and encourage them. Yes, encourage them. Tell them how fantastic/brilliant/great/wonderful/creative/funny/clever they are. Five will get you three you’ll feel better. Then ask yourself if that feeling was real or just a bunch of chemicals doing random shit in your head. (Hint: it’s the latter.)

I dunno Craigyboy, I feel pretty scared when I go to the beach; lot’s of sharks out there in the big blue. I won’t rant here about the chances of you being eaten by a shark are less than being blown up a terrorist on a plane while being struck by lightning after winning PowerBall.

Fear is an inbuilt mechanism designed to protect your life. But for some people, including past me, it grows like a tumour to engulf every aspect of my life and rather protecting me it greatly limited me.

Then I learnt about brain chemical imbalances and SSRI drugs and everything got better and was totally fine. For a little while.

The best way to get over a fear is to do it. (I fucking hate cliches) A work colleague has never been overseas because of ‘terrorists’ (like we don’t have that in Australia). Her daughter decides to get married in Hawaii forcing her to get on a plane. Now she can’t wait to go overseas again.

If you do find a feeling, please snap it and #tag it with IFoundaFuckingFeeling.

*Miss ya, Dawnie. Never far from my thoughts.

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22: Do not take your knowledge for granted

I am constantly astounded by people who ask me the most basic of questions about subject matter in which I have, what I consider to be, a rudimentary understanding. I am an expert in nothing. I have a high degree of interest and therefore knowledge in very specific areas which are interest to no one in particular. Want to know how many Marx Brothers there were? And how many made films? Could Harpo really talk? What was the original title for Star Trek and how many productions companies did Gene Roddenberry pitch it before being picked up, and by whom? The nomenclature of Mercedes-Benz cars from 1950 through to 2019. What cmd-shift 4 does differently to cmd-shift 3. Where Steve Jobs got/stole the idea for the computer mouse. How I ever got a girlfriend and then married, twice, remains a mystery to me.

I contend that you dear reader are the same but in different areas. I have a friend who recites details of weapons of war from the trebuchet through to F-22 Raptor. Another who is expert in the history of Australian Men’s hockey from club to Olympic level. Mrs Russell, in her professional capacity as a medical specialist practice manager, can decipher the fine print in both Medicare legalese and health insurance fund PDS. So what? Well if you have ever had anything to do with Medicare rebates and private health insurance funds you’ll know getting the maximum dollars back is not what they are interested in helping you do. So having someone with in-depth knowledge of how to work their systems for your advantage is incredibly beneficial.

Yet none of them places value on their highly specialised knowledge.

We all seem to take for granted the acquired knowledge built over the course of our lives. It may not directly serve us professionally or even socially now or any time in the future. But it does serve to make us unique. No matter when we’re all being sheep and buying the same iPhone (with minor changes to give the illusion of choice) or watching the same TV so we can relate to the rest of the tribe, I believe our individual knowledge banks coupled with experiences only garnered individually are what makes me, me. And you, you.

All that is to say, Roy Batty is right.

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23: Don’t be second to wave.

A variation on the motorcycle riders’ etiquette where riders will nod at each other when stopped at traffic lights or when passing on an open road. One can end up with a sore neck after a day of riding some of the more popular weekend routes especially around the Royal National Park or Old Pacific Highway.

The reason to nod first is that if one waits to see if the other rider is going to acknowledge them the moment has passed. Two bikes approaching each other at 60+ km/h pass one another at 120km/h. Literally the blink of an eye. There is a certain camaraderie between motorcyclists which I certainly enjoy and enhances the pleasure of riding two wheels.

The same is true I’ve found when seeing an old acquaintance or former work colleague (or a Facebook ‘friend’) IRL. A tendency may be to hide or ignore the other person out of fear or embarrassment. I’ve certainly experienced this from others and have been guilty of it in the past. The moment passes and an opportunity is lost.

So much easier to say g’day and see where things go from there. At the very least I’ve found my day improves no matter what the result.

That’s how I got my current wife.

NB: The ‘nod’ does not apply to scooter riders, trikes, three wheel abominations or Harley riders. It’s mainly for German, Italian, English and Japanese manufactured bike owners. The ‘wave’ applies to everyone.

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24: The richest and poorest man* in the world have one thing in common; 24 hours in a day.

The same is true for those of us somewhere in between. Alec Baldwin said while being interviewed in one of the earliest episodes of Jerry Seinfeld’sComedians in Cars Getting Coffee‘, “I’m almost 60 now so the things I need to do, I really need to do.”

I’m almost 50 now so the I need to do, I really need to do. And watching Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is not one of those things. Or Game of Thrones or House of Cards or much TV at all, even though I love the medium so much. I’m pretty sure on my death bed I will not be wondering how Dexter or Mad Men ended? Anyways, finales’ are really hard to make. Remember how ‘Seinfeld‘ ended? Need I say more.

I’m not talking about bucket lists; seeing the sunrise over the Taj Mahal or swimming with dolphins in the Indian Ocean. Things that matter to me. Creating something worthwhile and of value beyond dollars and sense. And just as soon as I figure that I’ll let you know.

I’m not suggesting I’m giving up entertainment in all forms but certainly leaning towards much more creating and a lot less consuming.

Also, global warming! We may all be facing fewer laps of the sun than we expected. Who knows when our time is up but when it is there are no deals to be made to stretch it a bit longer. I might not make 50. Louis CK once said (when he was still considered to be funny instead of a creepy, pervy misogynist), “If I die at 45 people will be like, ‘oh, that’s too bad’. But if I die at 50 people will say, ‘oh yeah, that makes sense.’ There are no candlelight vigils for 50-year-olds.”

I hope I make 50. You should I make 50 too or you won’t find out how this series ends.

To be continued…

Also, this “Tick. Fucking. Tock

*Apologies for the gender-specific terminology but that’s how I first heard the quote. I kept it the way I heard to indicate the age from whence it came.

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25: Between white and black are a million shades of grey

Yes/No. Right/Wrong. Left/Right. Party A/Party B. Science/Religion. Climate Change Believers/Climate Change Fuckwits.

What happened to nuance? Intelligent debate? ‘Blink‘ seemed to make everyone react rather than consider. I know I certainly fell into that category.

I heard a story a while back about lawyers and email. Between high school and art school, I intended to have a grand old time doing fuck all. My mother thought not so much and found a job for me in the mailroom of what was then top tier law firm Phillips Fox which no longer exists. Before the w’s and everyonewas@somethingdotwhatever, there was mail. My days were spent running around the big end of town delivering mail to and collecting from clients, barristers’ chambers and other law firms. Once I even had to serve court papers on a company but they had to be retracted when they discovered I was under 18, but I digress save to say it was a great job for four months. I also left with enough stationery and other supplies to see me through a three-year bachelor’s degree. Now and then I also had to take massive trollies of documents up to the Supreme Court and retrieve them in the afternoon… untouched.

But why lawyers like hard mail is because they were not under any pressure to reply immediately to incoming correspondence. They could the day or two to ponder all aspects of the communication then properly formulate their response by dictaphone before sending it off to the typing pool whereupon once typed it was returned to the authoring solicitor for proofing, amendments, signature and finally to yours truly to be delivered… eventually.

It is the ponder-time which is most important. That time for considered thought seems to be greatly reduced if not lost with email. Now I love email as much as the next (except for the spam which is implying both my penile function and sex life are in dire straights).

Nuance comes with considered thought. It is the ‘other’ option, the bigger idea, the better idea or as Buddhists put it, the middle way. The issue exists not only for legal practitioners. Instant gratification also means instant response. We stare at the dots while someone composes their txt reply. We get impatient when we see a text is read yet no dots are forthcoming. When I say ‘we’ I, of course, mean ‘me’ and ‘I’. When I reduced the pressure on myself to take time when replying (minutes instead of moments) I found my responses were simply better; more considered, more relevant, more valuable.

Some replies will always live in the world of white and black. Knowledge transfer. Facts and figures etc. But when I started to delay and think more, a whole world of opportunities opened up in front of me.

Rate this post: Good/Bad/Somewhere in the middle.

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26: Enjoy the prep because cooking is quick and eating is fast

This took me years to learn. How often do you see blokes behind the barbie with massive flames erupting from all corners, flipping steaks and rolling snags over and over and over again and still you end with a plate of cancer?

As an enthusiastic amateur in the kitchen, I found the real joy to be in the preparation. The discipline and skills required with a knife take years to master. Sushi chefs don’t touch fish for the first ten years of their training.

Actual cooking where I’m interacting with the food is relatively short. Eating is longer but not by much.

And I found this is different places starting with Lego. Model builders will tell the same story; the joy is in the building not the playing or displaying. Hands-on being creative using skills and talents, experimenting, failing and trying again is the real fun. Pushing a toy train around – not so much.

Building a business, working on campaigns, creating stories, making movies is where the joy lies. Not sitting in a corner office, seeing an ad on TV or watching your film because seriously, after the first screening it’s all just an existential wank fest. Move on.

Again I say, the journey is the important part of the trip, not the destination. Because how many people do you know end up where they wanted to be? I wanted to be an astronaut, chef, carpenter, cinematographer in that order. I ended up a creative director in advertising agencies and now a consultant.

I did not see that coming.

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27: Just because the buttons do up doesn’t mean it fits.

Literally, you know what I mean. Figuratively (pardon the pun) just because the solution fits doesn’t mean it’s the right solution. Everywhere I look there’s government wasting money doing the popular, not the hard thing. Businesses trying to sell to everyone and end being noticed by no one.

These solutions are usually the first idea someone had to solve the problem. This is why I use the ’25 Box Method’ for coming up with ideas. First ideas are rarely the right ones. As a junior copywriter, I was introduced to the method and I’ve adapted it to fit any project requiring a solution. It’s pretty simple; take a large piece of paper and draw 4 equidistant lines vertically and repeat for the horizontal plane. You have 25 rectangles and have defaced the page thereby overcoming one of the biggest psychological blocks to creating; soiling a clean piece of paper.

Now write your first idea in box #1 (top left-hand corner). Chances are it will be rubbish. Write your second idea. Better, but not great. Write your third idea. It’s crap too but all of sudden idea #2 looks better. Here’s the challenge. Do not stop writing ideas until all 25 boxes are filled. Most people stop at #3 because it’s better than #2. Great ideas start to come around the middle of the page and tapper off again towards the end. I’ve created headlines, tagline, layouts, logos, designs and strategies using this method.

Fans of The West Wing will remember this scene which illustrates my point, in Latin. (No, not the one in the Cathedral where the President yells at God, mostly in Latin.)

And if you’ve stayed this long you deserve a treat, from Monty Python.

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28: Ideas aren’t things; they’re everything.

I love ideas. I used to get paid a pretty decent salary to come up with ideas. The sad thing is some people don’t value their own ideas. I’m not about judging their ideas; that’s up to context, perspective and ultimately history. (Some of my ideas haven’t stood the test of time too well at all, yet some still work).

Ideas in all their various forms from simple problem solving to solving global warming are the Big Bang of everything. Because before the idea there was nothing. And now’s there’s something.

If you want proof of the immense value of ideas look no further than the US Patent and Trademark Office. The vault where approved patents and trademarks are stored rivals nuclear missile silos, NORAD’s Cheyanne Mountain Complex (which controls those nuclear missile silos) and the nuclear missile-proof bunker under the White House. Ironically the patents for those missiles are housed in that vault.

Ideas are very personal. To me they represent me, they are me. Whenever I pitched an idea which I loved, and it was rejected, my internal monologue went into overdrive and it was not pretty. Aside from the thought, “if they don’t like my idea then they must not like me,” there was the opposite thought, which was typically violent and unpleasant towards those who dare slight me.

I think the only thing which saved me, and perhaps a few clients, were the wise words of one of my early mentors, “Sometimes you have to let the children die.” It didn’t sink in straight away until a later Creative Director told me; “When they reject your work just say, ‘right you bastards, I’m going to do an even better one and get you to buy that!'”

And if that didn’t work, I’d kill ’em.