The Ides of March (2011)

To say I was worried about George Clooney would be an understatement. His last three outings, Up in the Air, The Men Who Stare at Goats and Fantastic Mr Fox have all been rubbish. They were also all made about the same time and released in 2009. I’m going to say burnout may be the reason. Or just shit writing and bad judgement picking scripts.

But with The Ides of March Clooney is back; as actor, director and producer although the producing credits were almost as long as the acting credits and even included Leonardo DiCaprio.

The film is set around a fictions US Democratic party primary election to determine who will run against the Republican candidate in a Presidential general election. I think. Well, I know the protagonists are democrats and that they are duelling it out to see which one gets the nod to run for President.

But this movie could have been set in a myriad of backgrounds. It’s a story of honour, loyalty, trust, hope and faith. There are no winners. Or losers for that matter.

The writing is smart. The tipping point is elegant. There was even an audible gasp in the theatre where I saw this movie (mostly from my companion) when the infallible became the indefensible.

The Ides of March plays much like a story arc from The West Wing but without Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue trickery for effect, enhancement and filler. Don’t get me wrong, when I grow up I want to write like Aaron Sorkin, after all he gave us one of the greatest movies, scenes and lines of all time with Jack Nicholson versus Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!”

And for special mention I select Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti. Both these dudes are spectacular actors. They have zero screen time together but share a couple of scenes. For my money, a movie with these two playing opposite each other could be the equivalent of Robert De Niro and Al Pacino doing Heat.

As for Ryan Gosling, well although he is the lead, it could have been played by almost anyone. DiCaprio would have been good. But not Bradley Fucking Cooper!

4 broken election promises out of 5.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

Once again Messrs Downey and Law reprise their roles of Holmes and Watson. One would be forgiven if perhaps the editor was being paid by the frame as this tends to spend a lot of time, a lot of t i m e, in scenes which IMHO could have been much shorter and retained all the impact, if not more.

On the other hand, A Game of Shadows is beautiful to watch so the editor can be forgiven for not wanting to leave a single frame on the cutting room floor. It does mean the Director’s Cut, a marketing ploy of pure genius if ever there were one, will be longer only in the extras as opposed to the feature itself.

This movie wraps together too many of the printed version stories including the series ending which is considered by many an expert as the finest literary conclusion every put to page in modern time, with a rather big hat tip to Bill Shakespear’s Romeo and Juliet. Someone at the studio obviously thought ending this cash cow prior to making a trilogy (and collector’s edition box set complete with actor, director and producer commentary on Blueray in time for Xmas ’12) too soon was not an idea to that would gain favour with his/her higher ups. Said exec aded what looks like two pages of script to the end to ensure a) a Hollywood ending, b) increase in Christmas cash revenues which leads to c) not holding entirely true to Arthur Conan Doyle’s original.

As I have said before to friend and foe, Jared Harris as Professor James Moriarty is not good casting. Moriarty was brilliant. And evil. And vindictive and well quite insane. While Mr Harris is a fine actor, at the top of his craft and career with starring roles in Mad Man and other production, he doesn’t bring ‘it’ to this role. Again, I refer you to Philip Seymour Hoffman as the evil mastermind in the third instalment of Mission: Impossible. Pure genius. Blood curdling with nothing more than the slightest of looks. And the right tone of voice.

Three and a half psychopaths out of 5

TT3D: Closer to the Edge (2011)

Making this documentary in 3D was a waste of money which could have been better spent on subtitles. It follows the 2010 campaign by Guy Martin and his new sponsor to win the Isle of Man TT race.

What’s the Isle of Man TT? It’s an annual motorcycle festival considered so dangerous by a bunch of soft cocks that it was removed from the GP series. There are six events held over 7 days that are each four laps of the island which is 252 km. On average, every year, two riders die. Google it. Be amazed.

If you ride motorbikes you must see this movie. And if you think you have some skills when it comes to riding this movie not so gently reminds you that your skills are barely above those of a caveman discovering fire compared to Einstein spitting the atom.

Guy Martin is a the loveable larikin of the motorcycling world. He is from England but speaks some weird ass dialect that only his mother could understand. Again, subtitles would have been good. They guys that ride TT are obsessed. Being the fastest here makes you the fastest anywhere. And the bravest; going into corners where you can’t see the exit with your right wrist twisted all the way down, left foot ratcheting down to top gear (race bikes gears are opposite to street bikes) and no thought of braking. All for a piece of tin and some cash.

While this is a doco the story is compelling and unless you know the results of the 2010 TT race then get thee to a venue where you can rent or download is as soon as possible.

5000 rpm at 300km/h out of 5

 

 

 

Sucker Punch


I made a lot of jokes on twitter and Facebook about this movie before entering the cinema. Not so much jokes as snide comments about it being nothing more than sexy chix with guns. And while that’s true, Sucker Punch is so much more. Or at least it tries to be and maybe tries a little too hard. Writing reviews for crap movies is much easier than writing reviews for good movies.

The story is not new; mother dies leaving two daughters alone with their step father. He is left out of his wife’s will so goes about trying to rape the youngest daughter. The oldest daughter (Baby Doll) thinks this isn’t such a good idea, goes to kill him with a 9mm, misses and kills her sister instead. One down one to go thinks the father so he takes the older sister off to a mental hospital where she is incarcerated while waiting to be lobotomised. Which is done with a spike, and not a scalpel as I thought. The ‘therapy’ this particular institution uses to help their young, sexy, female, sexy inmates is ‘improvised acting’ under the strict guidance of Polish psychiatrist Dr Vera Gorski. Baby Doll (we never learn the real names of any of the girls) wants out and after some to-ing and fro-ing with the Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish) the five girls decide to escape. But how…? This is where you need to remember that Sucker Punch is not a documentary and is just a fantasy with sexy chix. Baby Doll has an ability to make people enter a trance like state when she dances. The first time she dances she enters an alternate reality, probably as a coping method while inside the nut house. Here she meets Scott Glen who remains nameless through out but appears in each alternate reality vignette as a guide for the girls. In each vignette the girls must acquire one of five items to aid their escape plan. When reality encroaches on alternate reality, which is already an alternate reality anyway, shit gets real.

The SFX are ground braking, the acting is tight, the bad guys are nasty and the girls just rock. There are some elements right out of other movies but that’s just how it is these days. In the ‘Fire’ vignette, the bad guys are left over Orks from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Return of the King. In the ‘Bomb‘ vignette the guards are from the cutting room flooe of I, Robot.

Unlike a Hollywood big budget flick, the ending isn’t typical. Perhaps that’s why many people are panning Sucker Punch.

My tip; watch the trailer, if you like what you see, see the movie. If you don’t, don’t. I saw Sucker Punch on opening day in VMax with @BondiGeek, who hated it.

4.5 sexy chix out of 5


Limitless

What if a pill could make you rich and powerful?” asks the tagline to Limitless. Well eventually you might end up rich and powerful but not in the beginning. Limitless is limited – in many ways. Of course you have to suspend reality with this kind of pseudo sci-fi flick. In a nut shell, a loser wannabe author runs into his ex-brother-in-law who has access to a new drug that allows him to access the other 80% of his brain which we just don’t use.

I think the pitch to the studio guy who greenlighted this movie would have been something like; “Imagine the genie in the bottle story, where you rub the bottle and the genie gives you three wishes, now bring that into the 21st century but instead of a genie, it’s a new secret drug from a top secret lab that may or may not be linked to the military.”

Someone also thought it would be a good idea to cast Bradley Cooper in the lead. The back story is that this film is supposed to launch Mr Cooper as a serious actor. Fail! He shows little more talent if any than The A-Team. Then someone, somehow convinced Robert De Niro to get involved in this project. I’m not sure what’s happened to Mr De Niro in recent years. IMHO he has made some very bad choices in what movies to make. The Focker trilogy to wit. Of course he has also played great roles including Captain Shakespeare in Stardust and Neil McCauley in Heat to name just a few. Plus he currently has five movies in production and two rumoured. This isn’t a bad choice for Mr De Niro, but he is certainly cast to get fans to part with their hard earned cash and buy a ticket. He also certainly is under utilised or director Neil Burger wasn’t able to extract Mr De Niro’s immense acting talent. The Abbie Cornish role could have been played by any sexy blonde. Or brunette. Or redhead.

There isn’t anything special about the majority of the cinematography with the exception of two very long zoom sequences that seem to go on forever. One starts at the southern end of Manhattan Island and finishes up near Central Park. Very clever technically and visually stunning. There are two scenes where what is going on in Cooper’s head plays out in his apartment. These are lame. Nowhere near as good as similar scenes in A Beautiful Mind.

I’ve always thought, if I ever came across a genie willing to give me three wishes, the first thing I’d ask for is many more wishes. It’s a no brainer. In Limitless Cooper seems to wait until his very limited supply of pills is almost exhausted before asking a chemist is make some more for him.

Limitless is not a bad film but it could have been so much better.

3.5 little clear pills out of 5

World Invasion: Battle Los Angeles or Battle: Los Angeles

The marketing department couldn’t make their minds up what to call this flick and knowing that it was never going to win an award for anything they just gave it two names. Perhaps they were thinking that people might get confused, think World Invasion: Battle LA and Battle: Los Angeles are two different movies and see it twice?

Whatever you call it, if you love your plots thin, alien critters large, destruction monumental and SFX better than the last thin plotted, large alien critter, monument disaster flick this movie is for you. Also, you need to be a US citizen, have little or no education, massive nationalistic stripe and still think the US is winning the war in both theatres of active operation because this film is nothing more than a US Marine Corp (USMC) recruitment film. If I designed the poster for this movie it would have the classic Uncle Sam poster with an alien’s hand resting on the shoulder and a eyeball hanging out of the skull. Which is one reaosn I don’t design movie posters.

With the average US teenager leaving high school and having little more choice than a McDonald’s uniform or a Marine uniform, the USMC thought they better make their ocupation more attractive than flipping burgers and asking, ‘would you like fries with that’? Hooha*! But that’s enough social commentary and geo-political analysis from me.

Don’t think for a second I didn’t enjoy this movie. Sometimes I enjoy not having to think about plot and just love watching the bad guys get splattered. Again and again and again.

While World Invasion: Battle LA/Battle: Los Angeles is not a thinking movie, it does throw up every now and then elements from other movies. I wouldn’t say the writer/s read every other earth invasion, ageing marine, trapped civilians, father/son, last man standing, dishonoured marine and escape movie script before cobbling them altogether in to this one, but I just did.

3 dead fucking aliens out of 5. U. S. A! U. S. A!

*Hooha is phonetic pronunciation of H.U.A which is the acronym used by many military forces as the signal for Heard. Understood. Acknowledged. It is used after receiving orders in the field, at award ceremonies, military funerals and other appropriate events. US Marine Corp, which is actually an element of the US Navy, and US Army soliders use the term in their everyday vernacular.

Rango

Rango is the first animated feature from Industrial Light and Magic (ILM), George Lucas‘ company. ILM is a primarily a SFX shop specialising in making certain parts of other movies look amazing. What they don’t do is tell stories, and that’s what movies are; stories on film.

The plot of Rango is unoriginal in every way; loner near death finds struggling town which needs a sheriff to save their blah blah blah. It’s been done a hundred times before and poor film makers will continue to vary the key components and call it ‘original’.

Rated PG Rango is made for kids. But the kids in the audience when I saw this piece of crap were fidgeting and only paying attention when told by their equally bored parents.

There are plenty of references to Star Wars just in case Mr Lucas thought we all forgot he made that movie and it’s 2 subsequent features and 3 followig cartoons, or pre-cartoons or whatever the fuck he calls them. I think these references are also there in the same way that pantomime producers add some adult jokes to keep parents amused while their kids yell “he’s behind you”! There’s also a hat tip to Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas, which starred Johnny Depp, the voice of Rango.

Rango features every kind of personified critter from birds to snakes and turtles to moles. But as I sat and watched, and waited, (I’ve never experienced 107 minutes to take sooooooo loooooong), it occurred to my that the audience are actually lab rats. Rango is nothing more than a test of what ILM can do in feature animation. And in my not so humble opinion they have a long way to go; the feather and water FX are far short of the 2010 animated feature from Animal LogicLegend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole. This is the second time I’ve been a guinea pig for a producer – see my review of Sanctum 3D (Coming soon)

Essentially they have produced an animated feature with a crap story as a test of their abilities and made us pay for the privilege.

Well guess what Mr Lucas, if you think I’m going to shell out my hard earned to see Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace with Jar Jar Binks in 3D next March you are sadly mistaken.

Rango: 0 grains of dirt from 5 (Seriously, would a good story cost so much more to make?)

Paul

Paul premiered at the St George Open Air Cinema which if you have never attended I highly recommend you do. It runs through the latter half of summer in Sydney. The screen is mounted on pylons in the water of Farm Cove. Often the scene behind the screen of the Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbour Bridge and CBD can over shadow what’s on the screen. And that was pretty easy with Paul.

As the ad above says, with half hope and half desperation, Paul is from the producers of Hot Fuzz – a movie I believe didn’t have an editor. You can imagine the pitch to a studio for this movie. Remembering that studio suits think only in dollars it would have been something like; “Hey remember ET? Of course you do, biggest box office take record stood for 17 years. Imagine ET, escapes from Area 51, get chased by Men in Black, but not the Will Smith kind of men in black, more, Keystone Cops men in black, but our ET gets a ride from two guys on holidays to the US for ComicCon, I’ll explain that later, just think Über geeks and here’s the kicker….they’re from Britain.”

However, it’s better than it sounds. There are lots of great sc-fi references. In fact Paul pretty much has a reference to every great, and not so great, science fiction movie even made with a superb cameo at the end. And a twist.

The biggest problem in my not so humble opinion is the voice of Paul is Seth Rogen. He brings nothing to the performance and could have phoned it in. Actually, he probably did being that you don’t see him. For my money, Paul needed a voice like Roger the alien from American Dad; comical human, but not ET either.

3 little green men out of 5