Author: Me

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Project L What I Think

29: Happiness doesn’t come to you. You go to happiness.

This is one of those tricky Buddhist philosophical mind fucks. While it implies happiness is a destination it isn’t. Happiness is a process and therefore a choice. The ultimate goal of Buddhist practice is ‘happiness under any circumstance’. That is to say no matter how high the shit is I choose to be happy. Lofty ideals rarely obtained, thereby making it a process.

Happiness coming to you is passive. Going towards happiness requires action.

I used to buy happiness. It came in the form of instant gratification with a side of buyer’s remorse. It never lasted. There was always something newer and shinier which seemed to steal my happiness until I could buy that. I think I made Apple their first billion dollars. And Canon. And another dozen or so brands.

It’s a paradigm shift in thinking which moved me away from happiness being something attained through possessions to it being a constant journey of overcoming struggle towards happiness.

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30: There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid mistakes

I’ve adopted this one from my brother-in-law, a master craftsman in the trades. When Steven was studying for his first trade ticket his TAFE  teacher returned one of his practical assignments with a mark of 9 ½ out of 10. When Steven enquired as to where he’d lost half a mark the teacher replied, “Nowhere, it’s perfect. I’ve just never ever given anyone 10 out 10.”

Steven is one of those rare tradespeople who when screwing door hinges in place will ensure that all the screw heads are perfectly aligned. Why? Because why not.

With an attitude like this, it becomes obvious that mistakes, stupid or otherwise, are not part of Steven’s world. I’ve also seen Steven fall out of a pub with the help of a bouncer and keep his beer upright.

I, on the other hand, have made mistakes with everything from cars to careers, women to wives (not the current the one, of course).

In the days when I was more arrogant than anything else the idea of asking for help was too much to bear; it was a sign of weakness.

However the moment I stopped assuming I knew everything and started asking questions, and for help, my world opened up and my stress level went back to what I assume everyone else’s is. So much easier.

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31: Any action is better than no action at all

Even when being hunted and having to hide, not move, stay quiet requires active strategising which is action albeit mental only.

Even procrastination requires some form of thinking about a problem so as to prioritise it . Putting one’s head in the sand and ignoring a problem is the absolute worst strategy. More than that it is cowardly.

I used to do that more often than I would like to admit. Overcoming inertia I’ve found to be very challenging. Often the road block is in my own head; too hard, too boring, too likely to fail, etc etc. However, there is no joy quiet like taking the first step and none completing the project and ticking it off.

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32: Little pleasure can equal big pain. Little pain can equal big pleasure.

I’ve long contended that pleasure and pain are different sides of the same coin. Or as Chrissy Amphlett of the Divinyls sang, “There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain”.

A biscuit now equals two hours on the treadmill later. A credit card splurge equals years of interest. I hate the treadmill and I hate credit card interest.

But I’ve found the reverse to be true too. Saving for a major purchase increases the joy of that purchase (or at least significantly reduces buyer’s remorse syndrome). Doing the hard yards with my health (eating smarter, exercising more) equals greatly reduced chance of a heart attack and other shitty diseases.

And now, here’s Ms Amphlett and the Divinyls with Pleasure and Pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj-82dn75bg

 

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33: When you choose the process over what the process brings you, you win

This is the most recent incarnation of, “it’s about the journey, not the destination.” Over the years it has been said a thousand different ways by a thousand different people. This is my favourite.

It feels the opposite of goal setting theory but it really isn’t. Goals are about taking a macro view. Process, or journey or whatever you want to call it, is all about the micro. I find the difficulty in having to get through the micro to get to the macro because the macro is where the fun is. Micro is where the work is. And I like fun more than work like everyone. So the challenge is to turn the micro into fun. That’s why I choose the process.

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34: Tick. Fucking. Tock.

A quote from Tim Ferguson of Doug Anthony All Starts (DAAS) fame who developed MS which turned his world upside down. And he should know, because no one knows when their number is up, when their luck is about to run out. Every day is a bonus. Every breath is a wonder. Binging Netflix is a fucking waste of heartbeats when there is so much more to be done. I love TV and wish I was a TV producer (I have two ideas for shows in what seem to be permanent development). But unless a show is educational or at least edutaining then it can fuck right off out of my life.

Tick. Fucking. Tock. Indeed. My next tattoo.

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35: Nett Hourly Rate is the most important financial number you need to know

The quickest way to calculate this number is to look at your most recent tax return. Find the total gross income and subtract total tax paid. Now divide that number by the total hours you worked in that year. Unless you work fixed rostered hours you’re going to have to guesstimate that number. Take into account public holidays (typically we get 8 every year). Remember all the sick days and mental health days and ‘fuck it, it’s Monday’ days that you didn’t work. The final number gives your Nett Hourly Rate.

I created a spreadsheet to make it easier for you.

Why is this dollar amount so important? Well, whenever you go to buy something that is non-essential just ask yourself how many hours do I have to work to pay for this? The answer can sometimes make you sick, and save your money. And when I say ‘you’ I mean me. Working a uni job to pay the bills and support my new family meant my Nett Hourly Rate was crappy. Just because there’s money in the bank doesn’t mean it can be spent; budgeting 101.

When I discovered this number all of a sudden the appeal of Sunday morning cafe dining wasn’t as appealing. The bill wasn’t $X. It was X/NHR hours work. Now that’s OK if you love your job. But I didn’t so is it was an easy equation; this experience isn’t worth 2 hours of my slavery. Then I started apply it other aspects of my life. Suddenly the basics of economical rationalism moved from theory to practical. Labour exchanged for pay does not always equal exchange of pay for goods and services.

This process has helped to reduce waste and increase cash reserves in our household.

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36: 90% of what you know only has value when you give it away

I’ve found that by giving away most of what I know I’ve built trust and deep rapport with potential clients. When I tried to charge for every bit of advice the phone stopped ringing. And that makes perfect sense because I was drawn to people who you could ‘pick their brains’ without getting an invoice. Besides that, almost all human knowledge is available at www.whatdoyouneedtoknow.com (not a real website so don’t google it).

My accountant gets my business because I can call him for clarification of an issue or be referred to resources. If I got a bill for every phone call I’d be pissed and start shopping around.

The flip side is 10%. This is the gold waiting to be mined and refined. This is what you charge big bucks for. It represents your experience and experiences which no one else can claim to have. I am the only human to do what I have done. And so are you.

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37: Goals are just dreams with a date

I’m a big fan of goal setting. But I have over analysed, over complicated and over thought both the process and the destination to the point where I have missed the point almost entirely. When I was first directed to the original seminal work on goal setting, ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill my focus was more on the ‘Rich’ part than the ‘Think’ part. And then my mind turned to self-limiting doubt which the book features. So that was the obstacle I first need to surmount and the act of adding dates (or deadlines of which I was very used to) proved to be the force required to change my mindset.

This illuminated quote from the book sits on my desk as a constant reminder.

 

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38: Down to earth beats out of this world

I’ll take a doco over a mega-budget Hollywood action film any day. I have discovered so much more value in the authentic than the pretend.  Same goes for people. If there’s one thing 25 years in advertising and PR has taught me it’s how to spot bullshit at distance. I guarantee I’ll be as fucking as authentic as possible; like it or not.